Ash Trays

23Mar10

I hate cigarettes.  The smell just drives me crazy.  Have you ever had to wait at a restaurant and been stuck next to the ash tray outside.  Oh gosh… it has to be the worst place ever.  Every cheap cigarette in the world and a few that look like they are from some other world ends up shoved in the same place… and the odor tends to waft across your nostrils and violently invade your clothing.

I passionately abhor those few moments of waiting next to the ever smoking cigarette parking spaces.

What’s the point… The question is what do you do when you’re burning out?  Where do you rub out the burn out?

Let’s take a quick look at some typical ash trays that we use during burnout.  (at least I’ve used them).

1.  ESCAPE.

Our tendency is that when we feel that we are wanting to burnout that we need to “step back from it all”.  We think that we have too much on our plate, that we are “too involved”, or that we are taxing ourselves too much.  If there is one thing I’ve discovered it’s that escaping our pressure is not the solution to burnout.  I don’t care who wrote a book on it or who told you it worked… escaping doesn’t fix burnout… it just gets you away from the flame.  I’ve discovered that increasing the pressure, upping the intensity, and throwing more of myself into the fire will solve burnout every time.  Think of it this way, a fire will burnout without wood, so you need to up the parts of your life that it is burning, not pull the logs out that you have.  Perspective doesn’t come from distance, it comes from orientation.  Stepping back may give you a different look, but not necessarily a better one.  When you start to see the signs of burnout (see yesterday’s blog)… up the ante… don’t bail out.  (ps.  everyone needs a vacation from time to time… I’m talking about more than one week off … even I need a week away from time to time… but I was referencing taking more than just a few days).

2. CLIQUING.

It’s the oldest cliche in the book, but birds of a feather flock together.  People who are experiencing burnout look for other people who are burnt out.  None of us want to be challenged by impassioned people while we are feeling burned out.  It reminds us of our inadequacies and our insecurity flames up instead of the rest of us!  We seek out other people who are disgruntled, we become their champions, their defenders, and we find a tiny flame in defending them and we think… wow I must be getting my spark back… when really you are just blowing on dead embers and getting a tiny rise out of them as they float away.  This is one of those times to do the opposite of what you are thinking.  Run to the people who make your burnout show up the most.  Yeah it doesn’t make sense… but it’s this simple.  Getting around people who are on fire will help you get on fire… if you draw out of them what gets them fired up.  I think it’s like I have this natural aversion to those people a lot of times because I’m afraid they will judge my lack of fire… but that’s actually exactly what I need!  I need them to judge my fire and why it’s not burning brighter.  I need their help!

3.  BURNT LIPS

The funniest thing ever is to see a smoker with a burnt lip.  I want to say “serves you right dufus”.  But how often do we pretend that we aren’t burning out and end up with a burned lip.  I mean some part of us ends up in pain and scarred because we refused to admit we were burning out and we responded the wrong way.  Don’t ignore burnout and pretend it’s not happening to you.  That’s actually more harmful than isolating… because one day you will suddenly be gone and not even know why.  It’s the subtle silent killer.  It will just wipe you out!  You’ll be left confused … wondering why something happened and why you didn’t see it coming… etc etc…. and bridges will be burned and you’ll have a hard time going back.  IF YOU ARE BURNED OUT …. GET HELP FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE ON FIRE!  TODAY!  Don’t wait.  If you have a problem with those people, if you are having symptoms from yesterday’s blog… get help.  I have to, you need to, we all do.  It’s part of life to burnout from time to time…. but it doesn’t have to snuff you out completely!

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Tags: burnout, challenge, change, cliquing, heretic, Leadership, smoking